6 Gardening Tools You Can Use As Weapons To Fight Zombies

When the zombie apocalypse comes true, you won’t get a wink of sleep. You will be busy trying to survive against zombies. Here’s a detailed perspective on gardening tools you can use as weapons to fight zombies.

The zombie apocalypse has come under the spotlight for years now. While a large number of individuals dismiss theories of a zombie apocalypse, a larger number are of the opinion Zombies and humans will walk earth in the distant future. If the zombie apocalypse does see light, and we have zombies entering our homes for a quick bite, we are left with no choice but to run or defend ourselves.

We have to make do with tools we have at home to fight zombies. I mean not everybody has the money to buy arms to fight zombies. Furthermore, if government bodies

in every country decide to sanction weapons to citizens of their country due to the zombie menace, take a bow, it will take a while, thanks to middlemen and corruption. Gardening tools would make excellent weapons to fight zombies. Well, garden tools are affordable and it does make perfect sense to have them at home. A zombie won’t be kind enough to knock on your door and wait patiently while the door is opened. A zombie will attack without warning, and so it is a wise to have your weapons next to you where you sleep.

Choose your garden tools wisely. The last thing you would want is a zombie biting you in close combat. If you get bitten, you will eventually turn into a zombie and chase a hapless soul. It’s wise to use gardening tools with a long handle, that way you ensure you’re at a safe distance from the zombie during a fight. In a fight with a zombie do not get within grabbing range. If a zombie manages to grab you during a fight, there’s not much you can do, your best chance to escape in such times is a WWE move…the eye poke.

Gardening tools you should have to fight a zombie

1. Pitchfork

The pitchfork is an agricultural tool available in every store that sells gardening tools. Buy this tool. Why? Well, this tool has a long handle to hold and pointed prongs at the end. This is an excellent tool poke a zombie from a safe distance. The sharp tines can do sufficient damage to buy you time to escape. Also using the pitchfork like a javelin can help if you feel confident about your aim. Ladies, let sense prevail. Please do not hold the pointed prongs and try beating the zombie with the handle.

2. Shovel

A shovel is the best bet for ladies in the house. There is no rocket science involved with shovels. Just grip the shovel and strike the zombie on his head. The shovel won’t do severe damage, but it will certainly daze a zombie. The right way to go about with a shovel is to strike in a repetitive motion. When a zombie lies dazed with the blows on his head, don’t think, run. Make sure you have a shovel with a long handle. Gripping a shovel with a long handle is easier and lands heavier when used for striking.

3. Garden Fork

A garden fork is another useful tool to fight a zombie. A garden fork has sturdy prongs at the end that can do quite a bit of damage. The best way to use this weapon is to pierce zombie flesh and twist the handle as the prongs penetrate flesh. Don’t bother removing the garden fork pierced in the


zombie’s body and repeat the procedure another time. The zombie won’t be in a mood to play. Escape while you can.

4. Pickaxe/Mattock

This is an excellent tool to have in a fight against a zombie. A pickaxe is a digging tool with a large metal head. A long handle pickaxe can do severe damage if a zombie is struck hard. This tool is heavy, hence it is a wise to get the man in the house to use the pickaxe against zombies. A pickaxe should be struck with force. It’s best to dig deep into zombie flesh at an angle. When struck with precision a pickaxe can penetrate deep in zombie flesh. This garden tool can do extensive damage provided it’s used correctly during strikes.

5. Axe

Well, an axe is not a essentially a gardening tool, but every individual with a garden likes to have one. You can buy a wood axe at stores selling gardening tools. A simple wood axe can come in handy in combat against a zombie. Striking an axe powerfully depends a great deal on grip and technique. Watch few lumberjack competition videos to get a perspective on how effectively an axe can be used on a zombie. An axe can leave a zombie wincing in pain. If you see a zombie fall to the ground, don’t be overjoyed, they get up, just like we do. The moment a zombie falls to the ground, use other tools to land blows.

6. Long handle bow rake

A long handle bow rake is another garden tool extremely useful when a zombie attacks. A rake is used as a scraping tool in gardens and fields. You can do the same on a zombie. Why would you scrape a zombie with a rake? Because a rake is a scraping tool that is painful if used on flesh. This tool is ideal for women who are not very strong. Furthermore, long handle bow rakes are not very heavy making them a weapon of choice for women.

If you’re wondering what’s the best weapon to use when a zombie falls to ground dazed, don’t scratch your head, it’s got to be the chainsaw. Yup, you need to have a chainsaw at home if you have zombies coming uninvited every now and then. When you strike the zombie hard with a gardening tool and get him to hit the ground, grab you chainsaw and go on the rampage. A portable chainsaw comes in handy in inflicting brutal damage on a dazed zombie. It’s best to go for the neck of the zombie with the chainsaw. Rev up the chainsaw and go on a slashing spree. If you’re a gamer you’ll be a natural with the chainsaw. 

The zombies are coming! Let’s fight them.



Article Written By realityspeaks

Thank you for visiting my profile. I am a Freelance Content Writer. I like to learn something new every day. When I’m not at the computer, I’m either reading or on vacation. I dwell in peace, I hope you do too. My Favorite Quote “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”- Dalai Lama

Last updated on 30-07-2016 833 1

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  • yummum  08-05-2015

    Great Tips!! Fun article, lol It was very informative and entertaining! Thanks for the morning laugh! 

    reply 0
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