Facts About Farts- Fart Lighting And Farters

You may smile, laugh, or squirm with disgust when you hear somebody fart, but remember, there’s no way you can avoid farting. Everybody farts. If you feel the build-up, it’s recommended you release fast. Farts, Fart Lighting, and Farters, this post has it all.


Everybody has fart tales to boast about. Flatulence is a natural process. While men prefer to expel the mixture of gasses with a bang, most women love to take the silent way. Some may suppress farts and let go in installments which often results in invasion of a killing unpleasant smell. The familiar evil smell is

present at every occasion. When this pungent peculiar stench tickles nostrils, wry smiles, frowns, stares, laughter, and disgusted faces gain prominence. The blame game begins.


Fart Facts


There is an accomplished farter in every family, or a group of friends. Every occasion, the finger often points at an individual that is known for his/her fart exploits, even though that individual may not be the guilty one. All the begging and pleading trying to convince friends or family, doesn’t help, you’re convicted for no fault of yours. Research reveals that loud farts are less likely to emit a foul smell, than noiseless farts. Little is known about women farting loudly, which leads many to believe that a high percentage of unpleasant fart smell indoors and outdoors could be the work of… women.


If you are a farter that does not possess the ability to flex abdominal muscles to adjust the volume of a fart, it’s recommended you find a soft cushion surface immediately to avoid embarrassment at social events. Soft surfaces weaken vibration and dampen the sound of a fart. However, be careful not to shift base immediately to ensure smell, if any, dies out completely. Remember, you can get away farting loudly at an outdoor function; however in a closed environment that has excellent acoustics, there is no escape.


You wouldn’t want a fart to exit with a bang…


• When you’re about to say the words…I do!

 

• When you’re attending a workshop on etiquettes and manners

 

• When you’re paying your last respects at a Funeral

 

• When you’re getting down on your knees to propose

 

• When you’re working out in a crowded gym

 

• When you’re observing a moment of silence

 

• At a library

 

• When you’re the only man with hot women in an elevator

 

• When you’re the only woman with hot men in an elevator

 

• When your boss asks you why you haven’t achieved the given target

 

• When you’re at a fine dining restaurant with your first date

 

• When your teacher in School utters the words ‘Pin Drop Silence’


Fart Lighting


Fart competitions in hostels all over the world are exceedingly popular. Fart lighting, also known as Pyroflatulence is becoming a rage worldwide. Several individuals in universities spend their time taking part in underground fart lighting competitions. You heard right! Fart Lighting Competitions! Underground tournaments offer huge money to the winners of fart lighting competitions. Individuals that are able to ignite farts by producing a large flame are declared winners.


This act is also referred to as ‘Blue Angel’. The


magical blue flame is because of flammable flatus components, hydrogen, hydrogen sulfide and methane. If you believe it is impossible to light up your fart, be a brave heart and experiment with your Zippo, you will be surprised. Fart lighting experts are of the opinion that wearing denim jeans or shorts is important to prevent burn injuries. Fart lighting can be dangerous. If you decide to give it a try, do so at your own risk.


Different types of Farters (Which category do you belong)


Proud Farters- These Individuals feel their farts are exceptionally good

 

Shy Farters- These individuals are silent farters. They pass gas silently and blush

 

Foolish Farters- These individuals suppress farts, but farts find their way out.

 

Sensitive Farters- The truth is too hard to handle. These individuals start crying after a fart comes without warning.

 

Nervous Farters- These individuals end the fart before its time.

 

Dishonest Farters- These individuals fart and put the blame on others.

 

Unfortunate Farters- These individuals strive hard to fart. However, what comes out is poop.

 

Clever Farters- These individuals conceal their farts by coughing loudly. Deception and camouflage are their weapons of choice.

 

Honest Farters- These individuals admit they fart and come up with strong reason in their defense.

 

Shrill Farters- Their piercing tone can be troublesome for the ears.

 

Sly Farters- These individuals fart in crowded environments and then and make an individual standing, in front, or behind them look responsible by wearing a disgusted look on their face.

 

Arrogant Farters- These individuals are sure their farts don’t stink…ahhh they do.
 



Article Written By realityspeaks

Thank you for visiting my profile. I am a Freelance Content Writer. I like to learn something new every day. When I’m not at the computer, I’m either reading or on vacation. I dwell in peace, I hope you do too. My Favorite Quote “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”- Dalai Lama

Last updated on 25-07-2016 307 0

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