Before You Help!!!


Many people will wonder why there is a need to think deeply before helping others. We were brought up with a sense of good and humanity that appeal to our good nature as good people or Christians to offer our help to others. Help is good; to help others is to loosen a burden around your soul, to ultimately help yourself.

We are a self preserving specie, as humans our instinct for survival is in levels, and self survival is at the peak of all forms of survival. If you and your child are on fire, you first

put out the fire on you!

 Life has opened our eyes as humans to many stories of help that resulted in deep pain, regret and agony. Countless stories are told of those who saw strangers in the middle of nowhere hitching rides, picked them up and became victims of rape, robbery or murder. A lot of people are victims of swindlers who claim to be working for one charity organisation or the other and thereby play upon their emotion to defraud them.

There are many other people who despise your help, especially if you offer it without their asking or without consulting them. They may interpret your gesture as humiliating them, flouting your success or trying to insult them. Human nature is so complex, if you have and you don’t share, you are stingy and if you have and you share without wisdom, you are boastful.

On the other hand, helping others is absolutely godly; it strengthens the chains of humanity and delights God. Remember no good deed is ever forgotten by God! There are different categories of help. Some help need little or no consideration, a good example is helping an elderly person to carry a heavy load, helping the old with laundry, shopping, crossing the road and so on. It could also be helping the young mother to cope with the stress of a new baby, teaching a young couple to ease friction and deepen their relationship, helping a student to understand the complexities of a particular course or discipline etc. even in all these cases, they must ask for help before you offer it, unless of course the help you are offering is only momentary and has no strings or lasting implications.

In other words, people generally appreciate help when it comes from an anonymous source than when they feel it has put them in somebody’s debt. The so called poor people are never poor when it comes to pride, and to give anonymously is more blessed.

If somebody is recommending a particular individual or organisation to you for help, especially if it is financially, take time to ask yourself why am I doing this? Your motive is important, sometimes in life you willingly give little yet, deep within you it feels as if you are robbed, at other times, you give much and you happy heart will be singing. This is more or less why you need to examine your motive, ask questions and be sure you want to help. Don’t allow yourself to be sweet talked into parting with your money or other valuables in the name of charity, avoid anything that can cause you emotional spillage which someone else can profit from, don’t forget, nothing in life is ever what it seems.

If you must give so that you will be publicly recognized for the gift, make sure the publicity is for another purpose, not for the sake of what you gave. Truth is, there are no profitable public givers, only those who give in secret get blessed.

So if you are at a cross road about doing a particular good deed or giving to the poor and needy, or if someone has come to meet you specifically for help, ask yourself if the request is genuine, reasonable and worthwhile, if it is, ask yourself how much you can really part with without any expectation of a pay back from the one who needs your help {I mean, rather than lend him or her some big amount which he or she may never repay which will later cause you pain and regret, give him or her whatever you have as a gift}, sometimes someone who came to you in tears asking for money doesn’t need money, perhaps what he or she really needs is a job, some individuals are professional beggars who look out for well dressed people on the road and approach them with a woeful story in order to defraud them, I have fallen victim of these type often, it always makes me feel outsmarted and cheated, one of such days, I actually emptied my wallet for the seemingly poor guy, determined to walk home rather than see him suffer so, I had walked some distance only to look back and behold he was already sweet talking another well dressed lady, all he told me was that he travelled into the city only to meet the absence of his uncle and for the last three days he has been stranded and hungry, I gave him more than enough to eat for a week and to travel to any part of the country he desired. I stopped and waited for the lady to catch up with me, then I inquired of her what the man wanted. she told me he said his wife is in the hospital and he needed money for her to perform an operation, I was shocked but then I ought to have learnt my lesson, that wasn’t the first time I had been fooled, but I made sure it was the last. Please don’t assume that being a Christian means becoming a victim of charlatans and con artists, act like Jesus did when he was at this cross road.

It was in Cana of Galilee, an invitation was issued to Jesus and his followers to attend a wedding. Jesus’ mother was also at the wedding. In the whole of Cana only two people knew who Jesus really is, Himself and his Mother. Others including his disciples followed him because they saw him as a great teacher due to John’s recommendation or the recommendation of some of the other disciples.

The problem was simple. The Couple had run out of wine; a disgrace! Buying more wine requires money which they do not have and more guests are still arriving.
Jesus’ mother remembered the numerous times in their home when they will be so close to being stranded and Jesus always rose up to the occasion. She knows that he has the ability to make food surplus, so she approached him for help regarding the wine.
Jesus immediately asked his mother what her motive was. Are you trying to show off that your son is a miracle worker, Mum? He asked. But his Mother knew, that Jesus knows what is in man and needs nobody to tell him what is in man. She called the servants and told them to follow his instructions. At that point Jesus saw that all his mother was interested in, is helping the newly wedded couple out of a jam, he told the servants what to do and they did it.

Note that he didn’t claim credit for the miracle. The Master of Ceremonies did not come to congratulate him, neither did the bride and groom, not even his mother came back to say thank you. It was an anonymous miracle that only his disciples know about, and it only manifested his glory and deepened their belief in him

My wife read the piece above and drew me into an argument that is very valid for the purpose of this reflection. I assure you that I would have honestly avoided it all together, especially because the Gospel of John did not directly address this particular action of Jesus.

I am sure I cannot avoid controversy all together, but I am determined not to wilfully stir up any unnecessary hornet’s nest. As you and I know, religion has taken over the doctrines of the church and sometimes even though quite narrow minded in its demands, churches stick to absolute adherence to the dictates of such doctrines.

A good example is a church founded in Nigeria, quite popular now all over the world which doctrine demands that the members shouldn’t wear shoes in the church premises because God told Moses to remove his sandals for where he is standing is a holy ground.
The obvious truth is that there is nothing divine about the doctrine because God knows all things and the law he gave us all is so universal that regardless of race, creed, language or location it applies everywhere.
No society, however pagan or civilized tolerates murder, stealing, lying, adultery, fornication, adultery, pride, wanton destruction, violence and disregard of law and order. Due to its universal nature, these laws are innate and applicable everywhere in the world but how can people worship God without shoes in the bitter cold of the winter in Europe, America, Australia, Antarctica, Asia and South America? God does not give a gift to the world which the world will die using, he is not a Greek! Another Church insists that women shouldn’t wear trousers because it belongs to men and they religiously advocate this doctrine, again I ask what the Igbo people in Nigeria and the kilt wearing Scotsmen should do? And when the cold is bitter and the body needs warmth, should women obediently suffer when wearing a trouser, tight or cyclers can keep them warm?
I remember attending a Sunday school teacher’s conference years ago where a brother told us that from his personal experience, he believes it is not right for Christian brothers to wear jeans trousers because it makes them look like the people of the world! I cannot wear Jeans? Is it not how I conduct myself that matters? I may wear a cassock and be the worst sinner on this side of the Atlantic and I may wear just a pair of boxers at a pool party and please God. When has it been that the outer determines who we are? It is from within that our actions are premeditated, the execution of such results in how people see us and what they believe of us.

We are therefore not so different from the Pharisees; we multiply laws in the name of pleasing God! And we obey none of them. The funny thing is, invariably churches have become a breeding ground for hypocrites, especially the youths who have mastered double or sometimes multiple personalities. The “Me” at home, The “Me” in church, the “Me” amongst my friends, the “Me” in School and The extra “Me” for contingencies! No one is ever plain and transparent again. Children are experts at fooling parents, husbands are professors at fooling wives, wives are masters at fooling husbands, pastors are liars, church members are cunning, skeleton are walking out of our cupboards and yet we sing “Holy, Holy, Holy”. I can say this much: God is not mocked!!! Long before I became born again, I remember a girlfriend of mine came to visit me at home, I was sixteen years old and naïve, I wasn’t new to knowledge about sex. (I mean I read M&B, Hints and Hearts magazine and watch a lot of indecent films) but I didn’t know it is something that I was meant to do (How did that sound? Unbelievable right, tell me about it!). She came to my room, sat on my laps drew close to me and I began to fret, it is true that the hormones did their jobs and I was feeling electrified all over but I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to admit as much to a girl who I had given the impression that I’ve done it all.

When I realised that she will discover that I am inexperienced, I told her my Mummy will arrive home soon and that she should please leave. (Sounds Childish, right?) Before she left, she made me promise that I will come to her church that evening, I agreed just to speed up her departure. When I got to

her church, she was the one leading the Praise and worship and worse still, I noticed that many of my friends in the neighbourhood also came for the revival, at the close of service as we started walking home, one topic led to the other and I discovered she has slept with at least one of them, his story was so similar to mine but of course I was the lucky one because I didn’t actually do it. ( It didn’t seem so at the time, you know, it felt as if I was the fool for passing up such a great opportunity, I even stopped seeing her because I was afraid she will be regarding me as a small boy). She eventually got pregnant, it was a messy affair, my mother, who has seen her with me several times continued to wonder why she never mentioned my name when she told her parents the names of all the potential fathers, because practically every available male of my age range in the neighbourhood were listed, I still couldn’t tell her it was because I was naïve and not because I was as disciplined as she thought.

If you are thinking your son or daughter is immune to this duality syndrome, please think again, the question is are you the parent you make us believe you are? I know a Sunday school teacher who threw his wife down from the balcony of the first floor of their apartment building and while the wife was in hospital in pain, he was in church teaching Sunday school the very next morning! There is also a pastor, who as at the day of his ordination had locked up his wife in the room for four days! It was his daughter who told me. She asked me why her father deserved to be ordained and I was speechless.

If the parents are chameleons, the children will be bastards if they cannot be as adaptive as water which takes the form of any container you pour it in. Parents find it inconvenient to lead by example, so they say to the children “OBEY MY INSTRUCTIONS OR I WILL HAVE TO PUNISH YOU” and the children will reply “CATCH ME IF YOU CAN”. I remember a friend of mine from my university days. She is from the Apostolic Faith Church and thus has no freedom to marry outside the church. Neither could she have a relationship. She didn’t wear earrings and was very proud of her natural hair like every good Christian girl should. Then she met Jo, a Christian brother and fell in love. One day as she was leaving home, she told her parents she was going to school but she planned on visiting Jo first. Normally her journey to school shouldn’t take up to two hours. She didn’t want to lie and she knew if she didn’t call her parents that she had arrived school safely they will be worried, so she switched off her phone. Unfortunately, by the time she left Jo’s house there was an unhealthy hold up on the road, her parents had called and called and had become frantic with worry. Her phone was switched off and this spelt doom. So they hopped in the car and were trapped in the same traffic. By the time she arrived school, her parents were ten minutes away. Her best friend, whom they had been calling find out her whereabouts quickly filled her in. she switched on her phone just in time to lie to her parents she had cramps and had been sleeping in the hostel all day. The parents were fooled, but nobody fared better.

Tradition and the ways of our fathers has become a big gulf, separating the old from the young in faith, children eagerly defying their parents in the service of the same God.

I must consciously digress; remember the Universal Laws of God that I was referring to earlier? Well, obeying them is not doing God a favour; it is doing yourself and your fellow men a favour, helping you to survive for one more day. Don’t think the Laws do not apply to you or that you are somehow above or beyond it, if you think so, you will be making a great mistake because money may be a defence but it has never defended anybody successfully against death and other mishaps, it is true though that it can offer its owner some advantages.

These laws enable us to live a secured life, imagine a place where there is no law and where anybody can do whatever they like, then you have stumbled upon another Sodom and Gomorrah, self destruction must follow because left to our own devices as humans we are best at thinking, imagining and executing evil without remorse, the funny thing is, in the aftermath of evil we see clearly that man is the progenitor, executor and victim of his own evil deeds. So mathematically speaking, a-a=0, i.e. man-man=0. Translated in English it means if man kills man, man becomes extinct.

The laws are also built into our physiology as humans. This is where I can boldly say Lesbians and Homosexuals got it wrong! Did I say wrong? Well pardon me if I was a bit lenient. I had promised not to condemn anybody and I am not doing that. I am merely looking at the logical and mathematical equations that govern the universal law of God that is innate in all mortals. God makes laws that are extremely easy for you to obey because you are programmed to obey them. Please it is important for you to know that God did not make the laws so that he can catch offenders and force them to pay fine or go to jail, he made the laws because obeying them is like paying attention to the user’s manual of a new invention, if you troubleshoot you may just find yourself in trouble, if you deliberately use it against the owner’s instructions you will spoil it, the wise man follows the instructions and the invention serves him well.

Take for example sexual intercourse between people of the same sex, they cannot get each other pregnant, so if all men and women decides to become Lesbians and Homosexuals, the human race will become extinct. Mathematically, the formula is (1) Man + Women = Children. 2) Children + Time = Man and Woman. So it is a cycle that ensures our continuity as a people. But the Homosexuals and Lesbians’ own formula is either Man + Man = 0 or Woman + Woman = 0, both unions do not result in the continuity of life and therefore not profitable for man in his quest for survival.

Selfishness and self indulgence results in placing yourself ahead of your team, seeking pleasure at the expense of all mankind is not only wickedness, it is also sickening. If surviving in the world is up to all humans to work together as a team, lesbians and homosexuals are not team players, and any team that refuses to play together as one fails!

Finally on the Homosexual and Lesbian Issue, God does not hate any human. Saint or sinner, but a good soccer or basketball coach who notices that a particular player (Perhaps his son or daughter) in his team is not playing according to instruction and is likely to encourage indiscipline in the team if allowed to persist or likely to cost him the game, will in the interest of the team substitute such a player, sometimes he will go as far as to suspend such a player or even expel him totally from the team. That doesn’t mean the coach hates the player, discipline is an expression of love, but it is better to amputate an infected part of the body, than allow the infection to spread leading to the death of the whole body. The wise speak in halves, the wise hear in whole.

Now to the main crust of my argument with my wife. Did Jesus drink alcohol? Did Jesus endorse the drinking of alcohol? If so. Why are churches laying down doctrines that prohibit drinking? Are they saying Jesus sinned by drinking? Are they saying they are better than Jesus? Are they deliberately avoiding the obvious by overlooking this particular indiscretion of Jesus as recorded in the Bible? Is it biblical to drink or not?
Now anybody who is married knows how a wife is. But I can assure you that you don’t know my wife. She detests alcohol and she is a good Christian, I mean the Born Again type. I had to say that so that you will not get the false impression that my wife is driving a band wagon that is carrying me to hell! That will be absolutely unfair. She is extremely curious anyway and when she is on a quest of discovery, it is either I cooperate and journey with her or she will set about it on her own. and that I have leant from experience will put me in trouble.

So she demands that I ask for wisdom from the Holy Spirit and speak on the subject plainly. Of course, I am already in trouble because as I said earlier, I know I will be misquoted, insulted and my stand will ruffle a lot of feathers but since I share a bed with my wife and she cooks my food and will spend the rest of her life with me, I will rather be in trouble with you than avoid this topic and be in trouble with her!

For starters, some research materials:
Edmond, W.A in his article “Christianity” wrote that:

The instruction and exhortation of Christian preaching and teaching concern all the themes of doctrine and morals: the love of God and the love of neighbour, the two chief commandments in the ethical message of Jesus (see Matthew 22: 34-40). Application of these commandments to the concrete situations of human life, both personal and social, does not produce a uniformity of moral or political behaviour. Many Christians, for example, regard all drinking of alcoholic beverages as sinful, whereas others do not. Christians can be found on both the far left and the far right of many contemporary questions, as well as in the middle. Still it is possible to speak of a Christian way of life, one that is informed by the call to discipleship and service. The inherent worth of every person as one who has been created in the image of God, the sanctity of human life and thus of marriage and the family, the imperative to strive for justice even in a fallen world—all of these are dynamic moral commitments that Christians would accept, however much their own conduct may fall short of these norms. It is evident already from the pages of the New Testament that the task of working out the implications of the ethic of love under the conditions of existence has always been difficult, and that there has, in fact, never been a “golden age” in which it was otherwise.

Article Written By realityspeaks

Thank you for visiting my profile. I am a Freelance Content Writer. I like to learn something new every day. When I’m not at the computer, I’m either reading or on vacation. I dwell in peace, I hope you do too. My Favorite Quote “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”- Dalai Lama

Last updated on 25-07-2016 156 0

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